I’m struggling, There, I’ve said it.
I’m missing my exercises, not that a want to do them, but more a need to do them. The choice of doing my youtube videos is taken away from me due to room. It that might be an excuse, but I can’t seem to drag myself away from the excuse. Neither can I find the motivation to just go out for a walk. I have all the equipment I need for a walk, warm clothes, bloody good boots (my ankles never twist in them, and I never slip), a great bobble hat. So excuses have turned into my lack of motivation.
I’m not eating as well as I should, I mean the daily food is fine, the evening food is fine, it’s the chocs and the crisps which I’m bullying Paul to get out from the Christmas stock which I’m falling down on. There’s also two takeways coming up, one with my in-laws, and the other as a birthday treat to my daughter (can’t afford to take her out for a meal this year). Then of course there’s Christmas itself. I’m not feeling guilty about the splurge, I’m just feeling disheartened.
I’m emotional crash! for the first time in as long as I can remember I’m sleeping really well and yet I’m really tired. Every single weekend has been hectic, I don’t seem to feel like I’m getting any rest. And I’m not taking my Vitamin D, haven’t done for a few weeks now, they’re in a tub in my cupboard rather than out on my side, out of sight out of mind! I’m soo excited for Christmas, overly excited maybe. The ole body is also getting ready for meltdown, seems as though I spend more than half a full cycle suffering with this damn thing, aches and pains in lower back, stomach, headaches and of course coccyx, and of course the mood swings, seeing me swap from deep depression to soaring xmas mood highs. And as I’ve been so bloody busy at work and home, I haven’t yet registered with a new doctor, so haven’t gone forward with my plan for an implant. Another thing to be annoyed with myself about.
Vitamin D taken now, tub left on side!
So that’s me, my plan is as follows
- Stop beating myself up
- Take Vit D tablets twice daily
- Keep eating healthy during week
- Try not to eat chocolates and crisps, but if I do try to savour each and limit myself
- Not worry about the amount of tea I’m drinking, all counts towards fluid, just keep a sharp eye on sugar intake
- Book Friday off from work, and have a nice slow day, pottering about with housework if I feel like it, I can always get it done on Saturday if necessary
- Hope Paul can also book off Friday, maybe go for a nice lunch somewhere, that will be a nice treat 🙂
- Maybe even go for a nice slow walk on Friday, get some fresh air and quiet time
Talking to my mum and sister last night, I know I’ll be fine after Christmas, I know I’ll get back to healthy living with gusto and pleasure. I have absolute faith in myself on this. I just need to remember, this is the long haul, next year I will experience all this all over again BUT I’ll be a couple more stone lighter, hey, I might even be at the hoped for weight and health goals by this time next year!
I’ll keep updating my blog, I’ve totally missed my time reading yours and writing mine, I’ll be honest as ever so I’ll apologise now if the reading isn’t always as positive as I would like to feel. I’ll also apologise in advance for not getting a post done every evening as is my norm.
LONG SIGH!!!! Why does Christmas creep up on my every single year, it’s as though I forget it exists 😀 AND THEN, that remaining time seems to fly by! I guess the same promise to myself will need to be made, and maybe not broken next year! PREPARE…. EARLY!
Thank you for reading,