How I’ve missed you!

Hey all.

Wow, when the wheels fall off the wagon, life really keeps those challenges rolling in.

It’s difficult writing this post, I feel awful not having our interaction. So if you’ve missed me, I am very sorry.

I do hope you and yours are well, and if anyone is grieving, my heart goes out to you. ❤

Regrettably there are going to be regular days on end with radio silence from me. I am hoping to start reading your posts on the days I can, but my reading will be as sporadic as my writing.

So, this is going to be just an overview of my life.

When last I wrote, I was hoping for furlough. Before that happened we got an upset message from our 9 year old niece. She and her mum were at the murdering stage! So her mum and us had a conversation, and decided it would be best for everyone if we had Sofia here. My sister in law had done well to be fair, she and her three kids had at that point been on lockdown for 5 weeks… and they’re a volatile family!

We now realise the problem… School work! Sofia does not believe she should be doing any, however she has fallen very far behind.

School work is an ongoing battle, and we struggle not to lose our temper with her. We realised on week two that she was marking work as done when actually she hadn’t looked at it!

Food is also a struggle, she will like something one day and hate it the next. There have been days when she has refused lunch because it’s not what she wanted, and on those days, she has been warned of consequences, and then had nothing to eat until dinner. Well… I say nothing… on both of those days she has, after lots of complaining being given a handful of grapes, and she has no problem eating all her dinner on those days!

After week 1 we then started having Lilly, the 4 year old. Karen needs to earn money.

I was still working at this point, so the pressure really built up.

Week 3… furlough!

Apart from week one, the kids have been going home at weekends, but there’s no rest for wicked. Proper Housework, ready for kids again on Sunday.

I’m knackered. By the time we’ve sorted breakfast and washing, kept 4 year old entertained, done dreaded schoolwork, fought through lunch and more school work, done something nice in afternoon if Sofia’s not wasted her time (she will try and try and try to keep away from school work), had the dinner battle, gone for a small walk, made children to mum video call, got 4 year old washed, in bed and read to, spent a bit more time (usually a silly game) with Fia, made sure Fia’s ready bed at reasonable time, Paul and I basically just collapse!

How do you parents cope! Our daughter was a different child, and she is of course our only reference.

Now several weeks later, Paul and I are having a week’s break! I was knackered before we started having the kids, this week doesn’t seem to be touching the madness at all.

Some relief, Paul’s mum and dad are hoping to start helping out soon. Not next week but the week after, and then we’ll do week on, week off. This will of course depend on advice, I do worry though, I know I’m now paranoid, but I really don’t want them to become ill simply to look after demanding kids.

How have I been doing in all of this?

On the whole Paul and I have kept to our sensible eating, but with catastrophic weekend failures!

I have tried to go on walks and Paul has tried to cycle, with both kids here, that’s impossible. Instead we make do with a slow and short stroll with kids in the evening.

State of mind… mmm… I find I keep thinking about everything I had planned to do while on furlough, concentrate on health and fitness, try my hand at writing, sort kitchen, new recipes, art project. There will hopefully never be a furlough necessity in the future, but what a wasted opportunity for personal stuff. Particularly with writing, I have thought many times over the years, how all I need is three months to just give myself the chance to see if I could do it.

I’m also worried about coming out of lockdown, and the virus getting another hit.

A bit of good news, I am losing weight, even with all the bad weekend foods, it’s very very slow, less than half lb a week, but still, I’m losing!

Paul treated me a few weeks ago, he brought me a Joe Brown’s dress! UK Size 18, a real treat! I love they’re clothes and shoes (and bags), and was lucky enough to get two pairs of shoes and a bag for xmas (dream come true), and I was nervous about the dress, I’ve never, ever owned a Joe Brown’s dress, so no idea if the clothing is generous or small. Also, worried I wouldn’t fit into it during the summer, and that it would then be too big next summer! That would be a waste of money! Anyway, judge for yourself (please excuse the state of my kitchen!)

So that’s my life. I’ll be able to update tomorrow, and although I probably wont be able to backtrack through your lives, I’m hoping read your current posts.

It feels good to touch base 🙂