Lost my mojo – don’t want to slip back.

Hey all,

I’ve totally lost my mojo right now.

I’ve had several days of not eating as well as I want to (today is included, I’ve munched my way through a cup cake with loads of icing, and had two teas with more half spoon sugar than normal).

I don’t feel good with myself, I feel I’ve let myself down. Big time. I feel disappointed, and right now I’m in that mood where I could very easily give up. That point where my mind is saying, f**k it, I don’t care!

It doesn’t help because my father in law is having a 70th birthday party on Saturday, so where as I would normally think I need to be careful throughout the week, and make sensible choices on Saturday night, right now I’m thinking, well what’s the point of trying, Saturday is gonna blow my efforts sky high!

This is not where I need to be.

What do I do?

I need an emergency plan.

So, for now, until I’m back in the swing of things, this is what I’m going to do.

• Mindfulness – I need to stop eating and drinking without thought of consequence. Do I really need twice the amount of sugar in my teas? Do I really need any more flapjacks or mini choc cakes?
• Positivity – I am naturally a positive person, but like most people when the negativity strikes I’m buggered! Somehow I need to keep reinforcing the positivity, and hopefully start believing in it.
• Step by Step – I’m going to take each moment, each hour, each day as it comes, I’ll deal with each obstacle as it comes
• Exercise – So fallen by the wayside! I’m going try and get my arse into gear and do a programme or a walk tonight, no matter how hard or easy, I’m just going to do it. I’ve sent Paul a message to let him know, he’ll understand I might need encouragement and will provide that.
• Stop worrying – So, this week quite obviously is going to be a weight loss fail, I need to reconcile myself with that, it’s a fact, there’s nothing I can do about it. BUT – I have the opportunity to stop the rot. I mustn’t let this be a reason to slide further down the slippery slope

Ok, so I can try to do this, and drag myself out of the rabbit hole.

Here are the things that worry me:

• Saturday Party – this time, on this journey, I’ve managed on the whole to be healthy or healthier. I can do this again. My father in law has asked me to make a chilli con carni, I don’t like chilli con carni, but I can at least make it healthy and eat it anyway. I’ll have that with brown rice and that should help me try to manage not eating all the other stuff my mum in law will be cooking up.
• Period – In the last couple of years, I’ve noticed my body starts getting very uncomfortable at least a week before I come on, and I get the painful coccyx now. I always think “this time I’m going to exercise through” but I don’t. I’m going to start getting the signs next week, I’ll resign myself to that. But hopefully I’ll be more positive and maybe more motivated.

No this week has not started well (my week starts Saturday), yes this Saturday is not going to be brilliant, and yes my body is going to start sabotaging me.

BUT – there are things I can control, I just need to believe in the end game, and keep working towards that.

I have lost 23lb during my journey so far, I’ve done it because I want to do it. I want to continue. I need to continue.

So here we go…. first step, NO flap jack.