Today at work has been an extraordinarily frantic day! Thankfully I was in the office. I will be pleased to see the back of this week.
Unfortunately Paul didn’t get a chance to pick up salad yesterday, so I was, well… not good!
And then there was a really good moment! I grumbled in work about my need for chocolate, at which point chocolate monster manager Peter, miraculously found a bag of chocs! I scowled at the bag all afternoon!
It was not motivation that stopped me, motivation be damned right now! I don’t care about my goals at the moment!
BUT… I know I will care about my goals tomorrow or maybe Saturday.
It was determination that kept me scowling at that bag of chocolates.
Determination has been my friend today, an unwelcome friend, that friend that tells you shit you don’t wanna listen to.
But you’ll see how when I tried to listen to it, it helped me today where motivation could not.
So on to the daily report… full on honesty!
Sleep – meh!
Food – 40g natural nuts, 60g dried fruit, 1 cheese portion. Good so far, right?
No lunch as mentioned already, so trip to the food van. There were two things that grabbed my interest, cheese and onion brown sarnie not bad but just under 500 calories, or sushi type thing which I’ve never had before just under 300 calories. I could have chosen either, instead I chose BOTH!
I suppose the good thing I can take away from this, is that i liked the sushi thing, and will remember it next time I’m unprepared.
To minimise the damage, my unwanted friend stopped me having anymore teas and stopped me having that chocolate!
Dinner – gammon, sprouts, peas, sweetcorn and oven cooked spuds. I cut off all fat from the gammon, and made sure I stopped when I knew I was satisfied. So a good quarter of the spuds went in the bin.
Fluid – 200ml of milk, 2 cups of tea, 3 glasses of water, 1 chai latte (yep, my new found friend disappeared for a while).
Exercise – what I really wanted to do was have a shower, put on scruffs and curl up on the sofa.
The unwanted friend was riding my arse! My friend whispered in my head just how crap my exercise targets are this week, reminded me just how rubbish my lunch was, and told me that as I’m not giving way on the chai latte, the least I can do is go for a walk!
So, begrudgingly, that’s exactly what I did.
I s’pose I can at least say that’s one of my two 45 minute walks. And of course that’s another 4 minutes of vigorous activity, and 44 minutes of moderate activity.
So there we go, another odd day.
And my take away from it?
Motivation is great, motivation is fantastic, as I struggle with something motivation gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, that makes me feel good about what I’m doing or not doing, and allows me to think about how this thing I’m doing or not doing will benefit me in my future.
Determination, however, is a very different kettle of fish! Determination is the brutal honesty that tells me things I don’t want to hear. Determination is hard and cold, and doesn’t make me feel happy. Determination says, I don’t give a damn about what you think you want right now! I’m telling you what you need, so get of your arse. Stop drinking tea. I’m here whether you want me or not!
I hate determination, I wanted to veg out tonight.
Thank God for determination!